Chapter 24
AFTER DINNER WAS OVER Rick was out in the living room, rolling around with the boys. He ate almost half of the casserole himself and then after sitting still, stunned by the weight of the food he just ate, worked up the energy to stand up.
“Is something wrong?” Jenny asked.
“How much cheese did you put in it?”
“A lot. Why?”
“No reason. It was good. Real good,” he said.
But the way he asked about the cheese didn’t sound as if he liked it that much. The kitchen felt particularly silent when he left, taking the boys with him. That was his gift to her, he’d wrestle with the boys while she cleaned up.
Jenny lifted herself from her seat, put the casserole dish with one big chunk, back in the oven to stay warm while she scraped and scrubbed the dishes.
She scrubbed and thought. Scrubbed and thought about how good it would feel to get out of the kitchen. It wasn’t like she was at home all day. She had worked, dealing with complaints from customers for six hours straight.
Once everything was sorted and scrubbed and put in the dishwasher, she opened the oven and pulled out the tray. She wiped down the kitchen table and let the tray cool. She checked the piece with her finger. Still warm. She took out a fork and forked off a piece. It was good. Even now. Even an hour after coming out of the oven hot, it tasted good.
She forked off another piece so crispy and spicy. So saucy and substantial. Like lasagna but better. She forked off another piece, standing at the kitchen counter. And another. Before long there was nothing left but the empty casserole dish and the slight feeling of shame that mingled in Jenny’s full belly.
Why? The question took form in her satiated mind.
Why?
The answer came to her as she grabbed the tray and started scrubbing: she ate it because it felt good.
That was good enough for Rick laying down in the living room while she cooked and cleaned after working all day.
It was good enough for President Bill Clinton.
So she did it because it felt good.